What I Wish People Knew About Therapy (From the Therapist’s Chair)

There’s a strange and sacred alchemy that happens in the therapy space.

You, brave and uncertain, bring your stories, wounds, and longings. I, equally human, bring my training, presence, and humility. Together, we begin to sort through the mess and the meaning.

But outside of that space, I know there are myths that hold both fears and misconceptions. So today, I want to offer a few things I wish more people knew about therapy. Ideas not from a textbook, but from my lived experience as a therapist, a woman, and someone who deeply believes in the possibility of change and the resilience of the human spirit.

1. Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being seen.

You don’t need to be "broken" to start therapy. You don’t need a diagnosis, a crisis, or a perfectly rehearsed story.

Sometimes, therapy is simply a place to exhale or speak what’s never been said, to grieve what’s been long ignored, or to wonder out loud: “Is there more to life than this?” Healing begins not with answers, but with honest presence.

2. You don’t have to impress your therapist.

So many people apologize for crying too much... for not crying at all. For being angry. For talking in circles. For being "too much."

Let me be clear: therapy is not a performance. You don’t have to get it right. You don’t have to hold it all together or be perfect. You just have to be you. If you've been wearing a mask all day, it's okay to leave it at the door.

3. Progress isn’t always peaceful.

Healing is rarely neat. Sometimes, beginning the work stirs up emotions that have been buried for years. You may feel more tender, more aware, even more confused at times. That’s not failure. It’s movement and it is absolutely part of the process. Trust it.

Sometimes, feeling more is a sign that you’re finally letting yourself exist. You are giving yourself permission to be authentic. This is where healing begins.

4. We (therapists) care deeply—but we don’t expect perfection.

We see your strength! We witness your struggle. We hold your stories with deep reverence. I consider the unfolding of your story and presence to be sacred ground.

And we also understand that healing is not linear. You can come in overwhelmed. You can backslide. You can cancel. You can come in and say, “I don’t even know what I’m doing here today.” We’ll meet you in all of it. That’s what this space is for! There is no judgement.

5. The relationship matters more than the modality.

CBT, Parts Work, ERP, PE, narrative approaches—all of it has value. But the real engine of change is the relationship.

Feeling safe, respected, and truly heard? That’s the medicine.

If you don’t feel connected with your therapist, it’s okay to say so. The right fit matters. And it’s always okay to advocate for what you need in this space. I teach this, even if it means I help you connect with another therapist for better alignment if necessary.

My Final Thoughts:

If you’ve ever considered therapy but felt hesitant, I hope this gave you a softer entry point. Therapy isn’t about being “ready.” It’s about being willing.

Willing to get curious. Willing to show up. Willing to believe there’s something on the other side of pain.

And if you're already doing the work, whether it’s your 1st session or your 50th, I just want to say: I see you. And I’m proud of you